Navigating relationships can be challenging, especially when you suspect that your boyfriend’s mom may not be particularly fond of you.
While it’s not uncommon for in-law dynamics to take time to develop, certain behaviors might indicate that his mom has reservations or dislikes you outright.
Understanding these signs can help you approach the situation thoughtfully and take steps toward improving the relationship. Here are 10 signs to watch for and what you can do about them.
1. She Doesn’t Engage in Conversation
If your boyfriend’s mom consistently avoids engaging in meaningful conversations with you, it could be a subtle sign of disinterest or discomfort.
She might keep interactions surface-level, avoid asking questions about your life, or seem uninterested in what you have to say.
This lack of engagement may leave you feeling excluded or unimportant, and it can make building a relationship with her difficult.
Pay attention to whether this behavior is consistent or varies depending on the situation.
2. She’s Overly Critical of You
One of the most apparent signs of disapproval is frequent criticism.
If your boyfriend’s mom finds fault in everything you do—from your career choices to your cooking skills or even how you dress—it may indicate that she’s not your biggest fan.
Criticism can be veiled as “advice” or come across as unsolicited comments.
While constructive feedback is one thing, persistent negativity might reveal deeper issues.
3. She Excludes You From Family Plans
Does she often plan family events or gatherings without inviting you?
Exclusion from family activities can be a clear sign that she doesn’t see you as part of the family or isn’t ready to accept you into their circle.
Whether it’s a holiday celebration or a casual dinner, being left out can feel isolating and suggest that she’s not eager to include you in her family’s traditions.
4. She Never Acknowledges Your Milestones
If your boyfriend’s mom fails to recognize your accomplishments or important life events, it could be another indicator of her lack of interest or approval.
Whether it’s a promotion, a birthday, or a personal achievement, her indifference might signal that she doesn’t value your contributions or presence.
Acknowledging milestones is a way of showing support and care. A lack of acknowledgment can feel dismissive and hurtful over time.
5. She’s Often Sarcastic or Passive-Aggressive
Sarcasm and passive-aggressive remarks can be subtle yet telling signs of disapproval.
Comments like “Oh, I didn’t realize you were so ‘busy’” or “That’s an interesting way to do things” may carry hidden messages of criticism or judgment.
This type of behavior can create tension and make interactions feel uncomfortable, leaving you questioning her true feelings about you.
6. She Doesn’t Make an Effort to Know Your World
A mom who genuinely wants to build a connection with you will show interest in your life, hobbies, and background.
If she doesn’t ask questions about your family, career, or interests, it might indicate that she’s not invested in forming a relationship with you.
This lack of effort can make you feel invisible or unimportant, and it can be a barrier to developing mutual respect and understanding.
7. She Often Talks About His Ex or Other Potential Partners
If your boyfriend’s mom frequently brings up his ex-girlfriends or other women she thinks he should date, it’s a red flag.
This behavior can suggest that she doesn’t see you as the right match for her son.
Mentioning past or potential partners can be a way of undermining your relationship and expressing her disapproval indirectly.
It’s important to address this behavior if it becomes a pattern.
8. She Seems Uninterested in Your Stories
When you try to share stories or experiences, does she seem distracted or disinterested?
A lack of attention during conversations can signal that she’s not invested in getting to know you or values your input less than others.
This disinterest can be subtle, such as avoiding eye contact, changing the subject, or giving minimal responses, but it can still have a significant impact on your relationship.
9. She Avoids Physical Gestures of Affection
Physical gestures like hugs, handshakes, or even a warm smile can convey acceptance and affection.
If your boyfriend’s mom avoids physical contact or seems cold in her demeanor, it could be a sign that she’s not comfortable with you.
While some people are naturally less expressive, consistent avoidance of affectionate gestures might indicate underlying tension or disapproval.
10. She Never Asks for Your Opinion
If your boyfriend’s mom never seeks your input on family decisions, plans, or even casual matters, it might suggest that she doesn’t value your perspective.
Being excluded from these discussions can make you feel sidelined and unimportant.
In healthy relationships, mutual respect includes acknowledging and considering each other’s opinions.
A lack of this can be a sign of resistance to your presence in the family dynamic.
What to Do When Your Boyfriend’s Mom Doesn’t Like You
If you’ve identified some of these signs, it’s essential to approach the situation with patience and understanding.
Here are steps you can take to improve the relationship or navigate the challenges effectively.
1. Talk to Her About Your Concerns
Open communication is key to resolving misunderstandings.
If you feel comfortable, have a private conversation with your boyfriend’s mom to address your concerns.
Express your feelings calmly and respectfully, and ask if there’s anything you can do to improve your relationship.
This approach shows maturity and a willingness to work on the relationship, which can leave a positive impression.
2. Try to Understand Why She Doesn’t Like You
Take a step back and consider possible reasons for her behavior.
Is it cultural differences, personality clashes, or protective instincts for her son?
Understanding her perspective can help you find common ground and work toward a better relationship.
Empathy can go a long way in resolving conflicts and building bridges.
3. Change (If You Need To)
While staying true to yourself is crucial, there might be areas where small changes can help improve your relationship with her.
For example, showing more interest in her traditions or being more mindful of her preferences might make her feel more comfortable around you.
However, don’t compromise your values or identity to gain her approval. Balance is key.
4. Focus on Strengthening Your Relationship
Ultimately, your relationship with your boyfriend should be your priority.
If his mom’s disapproval is causing stress, focus on building a strong foundation with him.
A supportive and understanding partner can help navigate challenges and reinforce your bond.
When your boyfriend’s mom sees the strength of your relationship and your positive influence on her son, her attitude may soften over time.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with a boyfriend’s mom who doesn’t seem to like you can be challenging, but it’s not an insurmountable issue.
By recognizing the signs, approaching the situation with empathy, and focusing on open communication, you can work toward improving your relationship with her.
Remember, relationships take time and effort, and patience can lead to positive changes.
Emma Thompson
Hi, I'm Emma Thompson, founder of MyLittleDesire. I share relationship advice, love quotes, and thoughtful gift ideas to help you express your feelings and strengthen your bonds. Let's celebrate love together!
Email – business@mylittledesire.com
