A. P. Herbert Quotes, born Alan Patrick Herbert on September 24, 1890, in Ashtead, Surrey, was an English humorist, novelist, playwright, and law reformist whose wit reshaped British discourse. As an Independent MP for Oxford University (1935–1950), he introduced the Matrimonial Causes Act of 1937, reforming divorce laws. His Misleading Cases in the Common Law, satirical legal “reports” published in Punch, and novels like The Water Gipsies blended humor with social critique. A World War I veteran and Punch contributor, Herbert was knighted in 1945 and made a Companion of Honour in 1970. These 15 quotes—sourced from his writings, poems, and public statements—reflect his insights on law, society, human nature, and humor, capturing his irreverent, reformist spirit until his passing in 1971.
15 A. P. Herbert Quotes
- “If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.” (Uncommon Law, 1935)
- “People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.” (Uncommon Law, 1935)
- “The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.” (Uncommon Law, 1935)
- “A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.” (Uncommon Law, 1935)
- “The critical period in matrimony is breakfast-time.” (Uncommon Law, 1935)
- “The portions of a woman which appeal to man’s depravity are constructed with considerable care.” (A. P. H.: His Life and Times, 1970)
- “Let’s find out what everyone is doing, and then stop everyone from doing it.” (Ballads for Broadbrows, 1930)
- “An Englishman never enjoys himself except for a noble purpose.” (Uncommon Law, 1935)
- “The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure—the figure of ‘The Reasonable Man’.” (Uncommon Law, 1935)
- “Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.” (Mild and Bitter, 1936)
- “As my poor father used to say in 1863, once people start on all this Art, goodbye, moralitee!” (Ballads for Broadbrows, 1930)
- “There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once.” (Uncommon Law, 1935)
- “Don’t let’s go to the dogs tonight, for mother will be there.” (She-Shanties, 1926)
- “A dull speaker, like a plain woman, is credited with all the virtues, for we charitably suppose that a surface so unattractive must be compensated by interior blessings.” (Uncommon Law, 1935)
- “It is like the thirteenth stroke of a crazy clock, which not only is itself discredited but casts a shade of doubt over all previous assertions.” (Uncommon Law, 1935)
A.P. Herbert’s quotes sparkle with razor-sharp wit, satirical brilliance, and a playful jab at society’s absurdities, inspiring us to question norms and laugh at life’s quirks. Which quote tickles your funny bone or stirs your thoughts? Share it in the comments and keep Herbert’s humorous legacy alive!
Emma Thompson
Hi, I'm Emma Thompson, founder of MyLittleDesire. I share relationship advice, love quotes, and thoughtful gift ideas to help you express your feelings and strengthen your bonds. Let's celebrate love together!
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