Abraham Lincoln Funny Quotes, born February 12, 1809, in Hodgenville, Kentucky, and assassinated on April 15, 1865, in Washington, D.C., was the 16th President of the United States (1861–1865), renowned for leading the nation through the Civil War and abolishing slavery via the Emancipation Proclamation and the 13th Amendment. A self-taught lawyer and Illinois legislator, his eloquence in speeches like the Gettysburg Address was matched by his sharp wit, often used to defuse tension or make a point. Known for his humor and humility, Lincoln’s funny remarks are legendary.
These 15 quotes—sourced from his speeches, letters, writings, and posts on X—center on his hilarious quip, “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” alongside other witty sayings and a few serious quotes for context, offering a fresh take on his enduring charm and wisdom.
15 Abraham Lincoln Funny Quote and More
- “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” (Remark during a debate, 1858)
- “What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.” (Goodreads, n.d.)
- “The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.” (Conversation with John Hay, 1863)
- “It is not best to swap horses while crossing the river.” (Reply to National Union League, 1864)
- “The hen is the wisest of all the animal creation, because she never cackles until the egg is laid.” (Letter to George Robertson, 1855)
- “If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” (BrainyQuote, n.d.)
- “I can make more generals, but horses cost money.” (Remark during Civil War, 1862)
- “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” (Goodreads, n.d.)
- “I don’t know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.” (QuoteFancy, n.d.)
- “My wife is as handsome as when she was a girl, and I… fell in love with her; and what is more, I have never fallen out.” (Conversation, attributed, n.d.)
- “I am not concerned that you have fallen—I am concerned that you arise.” (Post on X, @LincolnQuotes, 2025-02-12)
- “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” (Goodreads, n.d.) [Note: Often attributed to Lincoln, but authenticity is debated.]
- “The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.” (Goodreads, n.d.)
- “I do the very best I know how—the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end.” (Letter to Horace Greeley, 1862)
- “We must not be enemies.” (First Inaugural Address, 1861)
Abraham Lincoln’s funny quote and its witty companions are a delightful mix of humor, humility, and a call to lead with integrity, inspiring leaders, dreamers, and everyday folks to find levity in tough times and act with purpose. His clever sayings, paired with his serious wisdom, remind us to face life with a smile and a steady heart. Which one gets you chuckling or ready to lead with grit? Drop it in the comments and keep Lincoln’s legacy of wit and wisdom alive!
Emma Thompson
Hi, I'm Emma Thompson, founder of MyLittleDesire. I share relationship advice, love quotes, and thoughtful gift ideas to help you express your feelings and strengthen your bonds. Let's celebrate love together!
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