In relationships, feelings of love, trust, and mutual respect are the foundation of a healthy partnership. However, it can be difficult to fully gauge where your partner’s emotions lie, especially when they still have strong connections to an ex. It’s not uncommon for someone to hold onto lingering feelings from past relationships, but when these emotions start to interfere with a current relationship, it can create confusion, insecurity, and frustration.
If you’re concerned that your partner may still be in love with their ex, there are certain behaviors and signs that could indicate that he hasn’t fully moved on. While no relationship is perfect, recognizing these signs can help you understand the dynamics at play and whether your relationship can truly grow or if it’s being overshadowed by past attachments.
In this article, we’ll explore 10 obvious signs that your partner may love his ex more than he loves you. Though these signs may not always be conclusive, they are worth considering if you’re sensing emotional distance or tension in your relationship.
1. He Talks About Her Frequently
One of the most obvious signs that your partner is still emotionally attached to his ex is if he talks about her frequently. While it’s normal for people to mention ex-partners in certain contexts (especially if they share mutual friends or have a history together), constant references to his ex might indicate that his thoughts and feelings are still dominated by her.
If he brings up his ex in almost every conversation—whether in passing or as a point of comparison—it can be hurtful and unsettling. For example, if he speaks about how much he misses certain aspects of their relationship or mentions how great they were together, it may be a sign that he is not emotionally available for you.
Signs to watch for:
- He mentions his ex even in unrelated discussions.
- He speaks fondly or nostalgically about their time together.
- He compares things you do together to his ex’s habits or preferences.
2. He’s Reluctant to Let Go of Mementos and Memories
Physical mementos and memories from a past relationship can hold sentimental value, but when a partner is holding onto these items long after the breakup, it could indicate that they are struggling to fully move on. If your partner has pictures, gifts, or keepsakes from his ex that he’s not willing to part with, this could be a sign that he’s emotionally tied to the past.
It’s one thing to keep an old photo album or a memento tucked away for nostalgia’s sake, but if these items are displayed openly or he frequently brings them up, it can make you feel like you’re living in the shadow of a past relationship.
Signs to watch for:
- He refuses to get rid of things his ex gave him.
- He has photos of his ex displayed around his living space.
- He gets upset if you suggest packing away or getting rid of these keepsakes.
3. He Compares You to Her Often
Another clear sign that your partner may still be in love with his ex is if he constantly compares you to her. While comparisons can sometimes be a natural part of a relationship, especially in the early stages, frequent comparisons to his ex are unhealthy and unfair.
If he consistently points out how you’re different from his ex in ways that make you feel inadequate or insecure, it’s a red flag. He may be subconsciously placing his ex on a pedestal, making it difficult for you to feel valued and appreciated for who you are.
Signs to watch for:
- He compares your appearance, personality, or habits to those of his ex.
- He mentions how his ex used to do certain things better than you.
- He seems disappointed when you don’t measure up to the standard set by his ex.
4. He Still Has Feelings of Jealousy Toward Her
Even if a person has moved on from an ex, it’s common to feel a sense of protectiveness or jealousy if that person becomes involved with someone else. However, if your partner exhibits extreme jealousy or possessiveness toward his ex, it might indicate unresolved feelings or unhealed wounds from their past relationship.
If your partner is constantly checking up on his ex’s social media, getting upset when she talks about her own relationships, or acting possessive over her, it suggests that he hasn’t emotionally detached from her. These feelings can create tension in your relationship and leave you wondering where you stand.
Signs to watch for:
- He gets upset when his ex dates someone new.
- He constantly monitors her social media or asks about her relationships.
- He shows signs of jealousy or irritation if you mention any of her interactions with other people.
5. He Still Keeps in Touch with Her Regularly
One of the most telling signs that your partner may still have feelings for his ex is if he maintains regular contact with her. While it’s normal for some exes to stay friends after breaking up, frequent and private communication that goes beyond casual pleasantries can indicate that he is emotionally invested in the relationship.
If he continues to text, call, or message his ex often, especially without explaining why or without your knowledge, it can be a sign that he isn’t ready to let go. It may also suggest that he is trying to keep his options open or remains emotionally attached to her.
Signs to watch for:
- He texts or calls his ex regularly without sharing details with you.
- He hides his phone when his ex contacts him.
- He doesn’t set clear boundaries regarding his relationship with his ex.
6. He’s Emotionally Invested in Her Life
Even if your partner is no longer romantically involved with his ex, he might still be emotionally invested in her life. This can manifest in a variety of ways—such as showing genuine concern for her well-being, keeping up with her personal achievements, or even trying to solve her problems.
While empathy and care for an ex are possible, the level of emotional involvement your partner displays could be a sign that he still has strong feelings for her. If he talks about his ex’s life with the same level of concern or enthusiasm that he shows toward you, it’s worth examining whether his emotional energy is being divided.
Signs to watch for:
- He knows intimate details about his ex’s current life or struggles.
- He talks about his ex with more passion or emotion than he does with you.
- He offers to help his ex with personal matters, even when it’s inappropriate.
7. He Prioritizes Her Over You
If your partner often prioritizes his ex over you, it’s a major sign that his feelings may be more aligned with the past relationship than the current one. This could involve him dropping plans with you to spend time with her, canceling your dates to help her out, or constantly choosing her needs over yours.
If you find yourself constantly being put on the backburner or having your needs ignored in favor of his ex’s, it’s important to reassess where you stand in his life. A healthy relationship should involve mutual respect and balance, not one where an ex consistently takes precedence.
Signs to watch for:
- He cancels plans with you to be available for his ex.
- He makes her needs a priority, even over yours.
- He excuses his behavior toward you by saying it’s for her benefit or well-being.
8. He Tries to Make Her Jealous or Get Her Attention
Some individuals may act out in ways that suggest they’re still emotionally attached to their ex, such as trying to make her jealous or seeking her attention. If your partner frequently acts in ways designed to elicit a response from his ex—whether it’s showing off, talking about you constantly, or creating drama—it may be a sign that he still has feelings for her.
While playful jealousy can sometimes be a normal part of relationships, trying to provoke jealousy intentionally is a sign of emotional immaturity or lingering attachments.
Signs to watch for:
- He tries to show off in front of his ex or acts in ways that would grab her attention.
- He mentions you constantly to her or makes sure she knows about your relationship.
- He seems to enjoy the idea of making her feel jealous.
9. He Seems Stuck in the Past and Unable to Fully Commit to You
If your partner frequently talks about his past relationship and seems unable to move forward, it may indicate that he is emotionally stuck in that time. People who are still in love with their ex often have difficulty letting go and may be unable to commit fully to a new relationship.
He may avoid conversations about your future together, bring up past memories with his ex, or seem reluctant to create new traditions with you. If he seems like he’s holding onto the past and not making an effort to build a future with you, this could be a sign of his unresolved feelings.
Signs to watch for:
- He talks more about his past relationship than your present one.
- He avoids discussing future plans or commitments with you.
- He is reluctant to create new memories or traditions together.
10. He Gets Defensive or Upset When You Ask About His Ex
When you ask your partner about his ex and he becomes defensive, upset, or dismissive, it could be a sign that there are unresolved emotions. If he avoids discussing his ex altogether or reacts negatively when you ask about her, it suggests that there is something he’s not being honest about.
A healthy relationship is built on open communication, and your questions about his ex should not be met with hostility or defensiveness. If your inquiries are met with anger or evasive answers, it’s a red flag that he may not be as emotionally available to you as he should be.
Signs to watch for:
- He gets angry or defensive when you bring up his ex.
- He refuses to talk about her, or the conversation quickly turns hostile.
- He accuses you of being insecure or controlling when you ask about her.
Final Words
While it’s natural to wonder if your partner is still emotionally attached to an ex, it’s important to approach the situation with patience and understanding. These 10 signs can indicate lingering feelings, but they aren’t always definitive proof of emotional attachment. It’s crucial to communicate openly with your partner, address your concerns, and establish healthy boundaries in your relationship.
If you find that your partner is consistently prioritizing their ex, showing signs of emotional unavailability, or refusing to fully commit to you, it may be time to reassess the relationship and determine whether it’s truly the right fit for both of you. Trust and communication are essential, and sometimes it may take time to work through these issues or decide whether to move forward separately.
Remember, you deserve someone who is emotionally available and fully invested in building a future with you.
Emma Thompson
Hi, I'm Emma Thompson, founder of MyLittleDesire. I share relationship advice, love quotes, and thoughtful gift ideas to help you express your feelings and strengthen your bonds. Let's celebrate love together!
