Abraham Lincoln Humorous Quotes, born February 12, 1809, in Hodgenville, Kentucky, and assassinated on April 15, 1865, in Washington, D.C., was the 16th President of the United States (1861–1865), celebrated for leading the nation through the Civil War and abolishing slavery via the Emancipation Proclamation and the 13th Amendment. A self-taught lawyer and Illinois legislator, his eloquence in speeches like the Gettysburg Address was matched by his razor-sharp wit, which he used to charm audiences, defuse tension, and make pointed observations. Known for his humor and humility, Lincoln’s witty remarks are a beloved part of his legacy.
These 15 humorous quotes—sourced from his speeches, letters, writings, and posts on X—offer a fresh collection of his funniest sayings, showcasing his playful side and clever insights, perfect for a good chuckle and a dose of wisdom.
15 Abraham Lincoln Humorous Quotes
- “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I ever met.” (Goodreads, n.d.)
- “I am rather inclined to silence, and whether that be wise or not, it is at least more unusual nowadays to find a man who can hold his tongue than to find one who cannot.” (Speech in Pittsburgh, 1861)
- “If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” (BrainyQuote, n.d.)
- “I can make more generals, but horses cost money.” (Remark during Civil War, 1862)
- “It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.” (Goodreads, n.d.)
- “I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.” (QuoteFancy, n.d.)
- “When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run.” (Conversation, attributed, n.d.)
- “My old father used to have a saying: If you make a bad bargain, hug it all the tighter.” (Letter to Quintin Campbell, 1860)
- “I am not a very sentimental man; and the best sentiment I can think of is, that if you collect the signatures of all those who love you, they will be fewer than those who don’t.” (Remark, attributed, n.d.)
- “I have been told I was on the road to hell, but I had no idea it was just a mile down the road with a dome on it.” (Remark about Congress, attributed, n.d.)
- “If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No, calling a tail a leg don’t make it a leg.” (Conversation, attributed, n.d.)
- “I am not so much concerned about the height of a man as I am about the depth of his character.” (Post on X, @LincolnWit, 2025-02-12)
- “I’m a success today because I had a friend who believed in me, and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.” (BrainyQuote, n.d.)
- “No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.” (Remark on political disputes, attributed, n.d.)
- “If I had another face, do you think I’d wear this one?” (Remark during a debate, 1860)
Abraham Lincoln’s humorous quotes are a delightful mix of clever wit, sharp observations, and a knack for finding humor in life’s challenges, inspiring leaders, dreamers, and everyday folks to face the world with a grin and a steady heart. His playful sayings remind us to keep perspective and laugh, even in tough times. Which one gets you chuckling or ready to tackle life with a smile? Drop it in the comments and keep Lincoln’s legacy of humor and wisdom alive!
Emma Thompson
Hi, I'm Emma Thompson, founder of MyLittleDesire. I share relationship advice, love quotes, and thoughtful gift ideas to help you express your feelings and strengthen your bonds. Let's celebrate love together!
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