Alan K. Simpson Quotes, born September 2, 1931, in Denver, Colorado, and passing on March 14, 2025, was an American politician and Republican Senator from Wyoming (1979–1997), known for his sharp wit, integrity, and bipartisan spirit. A University of Wyoming law graduate and Army veteran, Simpson served as Senate Republican Whip (1985–1995) and co-chaired the National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform (Simpson-Bowles) in 2010. His moderate conservatism supported abortion rights and gay rights, while his colorful rhetoric—once calling Social Security a “milk cow with 310 million tits”—sparked both controversy and admiration. A key figure in immigration reform and fiscal policy, Simpson’s humor and candor left a lasting mark. These 15 quotes—sourced from speeches, interviews, and public statements—reflect his thoughts on integrity, politics, humor, and society, capturing his irreverent yet principled voice.
15 Alan K. Simpson Quotes
- “If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.” (Quoted in Eyewitness to Power, 2001)
- “Those who travel the high road of humility are not troubled by heavy traffic.” (AZQuotes, n.d.)
- “There is no ‘slippery slope’ toward loss of liberty, only a long staircase where each step downward must first be tolerated by the American people and their leaders.” (The New York Times, September 26, 1982)
- “I consider abortion to be a deeply personal and intimate issue for women and I don’t believe male legislators should even vote on the issue.” (BrainyQuote, n.d.)
- “We have two political parties in this country, the Stupid Party and the Evil Party. I belong to the Stupid Party.” (Quoted by Mark Shields, CNN, May 12, 2003)
- “An educated man is thoroughly inoculated against humbug, thinks for himself and tries to give his thoughts, in speech or on paper, some style.” (BrainyQuote, n.d.)
- “Humor is the universal solvent against the abrasive elements of life.” (Eulogy for George H.W. Bush, The Billings Gazette, December 6, 2018)
- “I look forward to the day when I can be Republican again. I’m an Alan Simpson Republican.” (Planet JH Weekly, July 28, 2005)
- “Hatred corrodes the container it’s carried in.” (Eulogy for George H.W. Bush, The Billings Gazette, December 6, 2018)
- “Any education that matters is liberal. All the saving truths, all the healing graces that distinguish a good education from a bad one or a full education from a half-empty one are contained in that word.” (AZQuotes, n.d.)
- “He’s a million rubber bands in his resilience.” (On Caspar Weinberger, February 1987)
- “Grandchildren now don’t write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.” (The Atlantic, March 8, 2011)
- “Now it’s just sharp elbows, and instead of having a caucus where you sit down and say, ‘What are you doing for your country?’ you sit figuring out how to screw the other side.” (AZQuotes, n.d.)
- “If you torture statistics long enough, they’ll eventually confess the truth.” (Wisdomly.net, n.d.)
- “My parole officer always believed in my capacity for redemption, even when my actions did not inspire confidence.” (BrainyQuote, n.d.)
Alan K. Simpson’s quotes are a bold mix of humor, integrity, and no-nonsense wisdom, urging us to rise above division and embrace principled leadership. Which quote fires up your sense of purpose? Share it below and keep Simpson’s Wyoming spirit alive!
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