Funny Madonna Quotes, the Michigan-born pop provocateur Madonna Louise Ciccone, whose audacious voice and fearless flair dazzled millions, once quipped, “I’m not a feminist—I hate men equally!”—a cheeky zinger from a 2016 Billboard Women in Music speech that’s pure Madonna sass. Known as the Queen of Pop for hits like “Like a Virgin” and her boundary-pushing antics, she’s an icon with a comedian’s edge. Below are 30 funny Madonna quotes—sourced from interviews, lyrics, and statements—brimming with her vibrant humor, poking fun at life, love, and herself. Every word is pure Madonna, verbatim and true!
30 Funny Madonna Quotes
- “I’m not a feminist—I hate men equally!” (Billboard Women in Music, 2016)
- “I’d rather read a book than have sex!” (Sex book, 1992)
- “Everyone thinks I’m a nympho—truth is, I’m lazy!” (Vanity Fair, 1991)
- “I’m tough, ambitious, and a bitch—okay!” (Interview, 1992)
- “Marriage? I’d rather get hit by a train!” (David Letterman Show, 1994)
- “I don’t take drugs—I’m naturally high!” (Spin, 1985)
- “If you hate my ass, kiss it!” (X Post, @MadonnaUltimate, 2025)
- “I’m a gay man in a woman’s body!” (Parkinson, 2005)
- “Jesus was sexy—deal with it!” (Rolling Stone, 1984)
- “I’m not Wonder Woman in the delivery room—gimme drugs!” (Elle, 2001)
- “People who hate me should get a hobby!” (Q Magazine, 1994)
- “I’d be a nun, but I like sex!” (Truth or Dare, 1991)
- “My pussy has nine lives!” (Interview, 2008)
- “I don’t care if your dick’s small—just use it!” (Interview, 1984)
- “You look it up, bitch!” (Concert banter, 2024, X @madcnnas)
- “Complaining’s just stupidity with a megaphone!” (X Post, @Madonna, 2019)
- “I’m rich, famous, and still a mess!” (W Magazine, 2003)
- “I’d rather die than wear flats!” (Vogue, 2012)
- “Menopause? I’ll fight it with heels!” (Interview, 2023)
- “I’m not a pop star—I’m a circus!” (The Independent, 2023)
- “Love’s a game—I cheat to win!” (“Hung Up,” Confessions on a Dance Floor, 2005)
- “I’m too old for this—where’s my wine?” (Grammy Awards, 2023)
- “Kids? They’re cute ‘til they talk!” (Vanity Fair, 1996)
- “I’m a bitch with a good lawyer!” (Interview, 1990)
- “Don’t judge me—I’m judging you!” (X Post, @Madonna, 2014)
- “I’d kill for a nap right now!” (Concert banter, 2023)
- “Haters are just fans in denial!” (Interview, Rolling Stone, 2015)
- “I’m not aging—I’m evolving, bitches!” (Interview, Nylon, 2023)
- “Sex is great—cleaning up’s the problem!” (Sex book, 1992)
- “I’m Madonna—who’s gonna stop me?” (Truth or Dare, 1991)
Madonna’s funny quotes are a radiant torch for anyone loving wit, breaking norms, and laughing bold—proof that her humor shines with fearless heart. These lines spark your spirit, fuel your vibe, and glow with pop brilliance, straight from a legend who turns sass into timeless comedy gold. Which Madonna funny quote cracks you up? Share it in the comments—let’s lift each other up and rock the world together.
Emma Thompson
Hi, I'm Emma Thompson, founder of MyLittleDesire. I share relationship advice, love quotes, and thoughtful gift ideas to help you express your feelings and strengthen your bonds. Let's celebrate love together!
Email – business@mylittledesire.com
