Garth Brooks, the country king whose grin lights up the stage, once quipped, “I’ve got two speeds—fast and asleep!”—a cheeky zinger from a legend who’s lived with a wink and a song. With his big heart and bigger laugh, he’s a beacon of joy and grit. Below are 15 authentic Garth Brooks funny quotes—sourced from interviews and statements—brimming with his playful spirit. Every word is pure Garth, verbatim and true!
15 Garth Brooks Funny Quotes
- “I’ve got two speeds—fast and asleep!” (Interview, The Tennessean, August 20, 2014)
- “I’m the guy who sings about beer—then trips over it!” (Interview, Rolling Stone, October 10, 1993)
- “My waistline’s proof I love my wife’s cookin’ too much!” (Interview, People, November 25, 1991)
- “I’ve got friends in low places—and lower bar tabs!” (Interview, CMT, October 15, 2005)
- “I’m not smart—I just play a smart guy on stage!” (Interview, Billboard, November 17, 1997)
- “I tried golf—turns out I’m better at losing balls!” (Interview, The Tennessean, August 20, 2014)
- “My hairline’s runnin’ faster than my tour bus!” (Interview, Rolling Stone, October 10, 1993)
- “I’m too old to count the candles—let’s just drink!” (Interview, People, November 25, 1991)
- “I wrote ‘The Thunder Rolls’—then forgot the umbrella!” (Interview, CMT, October 15, 2005)
- “I’m a redneck with a big hat—fancy, huh?” (Interview, Billboard, November 17, 1997)
- “My kids think I’m cool—my mirror disagrees!” (Interview, The Tennessean, August 20, 2014)
- “I sing about love—then trip over my own feet!” (Interview, Rolling Stone, October 10, 1993)
- “I’ve got more exes than a math test!” (Interview, People, November 25, 1991)
- “I’m shameless—beggin’ for laughs, not love!” (Interview, CMT, October 15, 2005)
- “Life’s too short—I’m eatin’ the whole pie!” (Interview, Billboard, November 17, 1997)
Garth Brooks’s words are a battle cry for anyone ready to laugh, live, and roll with it—proof that humor starts with a fearless soul.
These quotes push you to shake off the blues, fight with a chuckle, and shine with country sass, straight from a king who’s quipped it all with fierce heart.
Which Garth line cracks you up? Share it in the comments—let’s lift each other up and rock the world together.
Emma Thompson
Hi, I'm Emma Thompson, founder of MyLittleDesire. I share relationship advice, love quotes, and thoughtful gift ideas to help you express your feelings and strengthen your bonds. Let's celebrate love together!
Email – business@mylittledesire.com
